Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Road Rage

This afternoon I was driving back to work from lunch, a few minutes late (as usual)…I take a highway that runs on the outer skirts of town to avoid slow traffic, stop signs & stoplights. It’s probably not any faster, but it’s better for my mental health.

Anyway, today as I was exiting off the highway…about to merge onto a street named “Richardson Loop” …one of the busiest streets in town...I see a white pickup truck in front of me slam on his breaks! It all happened so fast, I had to swerve onto the grassy shoulder to avoid rear-ending him!

Of course, being the obnoxious /impatient/always-in-a-hurry person that I am, I slam on my horn!

::honk honk::

Assuming the reason for his sudden break was due to his lack of ability to merge off of the highway onto traffic.

Anyway I speed past him –shooting him a nasty glare!

It was in that moment, mid honk & glare, that I see the reason for the sudden stop:

A big white funeral hurst slowly passes by.

I honked at a FUNERAL PROCESSION!

And the award for the most terrible person on earth goes to…

(I started to write something about dropping dead from the embarrassment but I decided it wasn’t in good taste, ahem.)

Anyway, I could feel the eyes of every driver staring at me with disgust.

In a moment of desperation to escape the embarrassment, I literally fled the scene!

You’d think I would have had the grace to pull over…nope! I hit the gas and sped off!

It wasn't my best moment.

Every now and then we all need a big slice of humble pie….I had mine today.

And now my friends, I will leave you with a few of my favorite road rage memes. Enjoy!






*All images found here.


Monday, April 13, 2015

Tulips, Tea, & Brittney Skins Her Knee!

I had big plans for this weekend. The weather was beautiful. Weeds needed pulling. Grass needed mowing. Home Depot was having a sale on mulch (5 bags for $10!) -I laughed out loud as I wrote that last sentence...When did I get so lame? I feel like Will Farrell's character in Old School...

"Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time”

Anyway, I had plans to *finally* work in the yard. My yard is out. of. control! It's like a jungle back there and I knew that I'd better get to because it is supposed to rain all week.

So Saturday morning I attended a "tea party/brunch" fundraiser for a local organization that (believe it or not) I am the president of.  I wanted to look nice. I knew I would be speaking in front of a group of impeccably dressed women and that can be a little scary.

Anyway, I put on my favorite skirt...the one I wore on Valentine's Day. 



I swear that skirt has magical powers...if it can make a single girl feel special and pretty on a day that everyone in the office gets flowers *but her* (read that again in Chandler Bing's voice...emphasis on the "but her" part)...a day that one might feel a little un-pretty...well the only explanation is magic.

So, I arrived to the brunch with my hair perfectly curled, donning my favorite skirt, a bold red lip to top off the look. I was feeling good!

The fundraiser was a huge success, everyone seemed to have a good time. 

Our theme was "Tulips, Tea, & Tables To See!" Several ladies (myself included) decorated tables for the brunch. Each table had a different theme. Of course, I chose Harry Potter.

Here's a few snap shots I took with my phone: 





Do you see the chocolate frogs? 




The china and crystal glasses belonged to my late grandmother. I was a nervous wreck about using them but in the end, decided they would offer an elegant touch to my Harry Potter theme. Not to mention, my Grammy would have been all over this type of event! She would have LOVED decorating the tables and dressing to the nines...I smile just thinking about all the little functions she took me to. Brunches and teas and lunches. She always dressed me in these darling outfits and showed me off to her friends. I know she would have loved the Tulips and Tea Party.

Following the brunch, I carefully packed the table decor. Ensuring the safety of my beloved china, I wrapped each plate, saucer and glass in individual tea cloths. 

The last item to take to the car would be a basket filled with wine and cake balls -something I won in the silent auction. It was going to be my reward for finishing all of the dreaded yard work. 

I said my final farewells and headed to the car. I was so pleased with myself. I won the cake balls! My table looked just like I'd envisioned! I didn't break or chip any china! 

And that's when it happened.

I felt my feet buckle underneath me. "Dammit! I missed a step!" My basket of cake balls and wine went flying out of my arms. My knees hit the concrete first. Hard. I didn't have to look, I knew the wine was gone...I could smell it. "Oh no! My wine!" 

Women came running over help me, one of them screaming "Oh my god!"

I was surrounded by shards of glass, from the wine. My knees bloody, from the concrete. 

Someone asked: "Are you okay!? You broke your wine!" 

I replied in the most pathetic, whimpery, voice: "I know I did!" 

I did that thing where you jump up and pretend like nothing happened, smile through the pain..."I'm fine!" except I took one step and I knew I wasn't. 

Tears tickled the back of my eyes, a lump forming in my throat. What minutes earlier had been a graceful stride, my walk had now become a limping shuffle of high heels and bloody knees.

As soon as we got out of earshot of the other women, my best friend Susan asked if I was okay, I croaked out an honest "no." 

Everything after that was a blur.

Wanting to flee the scene, I packed up my car as quickly as possible...only to realize I've misplaced my keys. The car doors were locked "Crap!" 

I made the walk of shame inside to look for them...nope nowhere to be found.

I hitched a ride home and grabbed the spare...went through the entire contents of my car and still couldn't find my damn keys. As it turned out, they had been inside the whole time...

My knees and ego are still pretty bruised.

And the yard work? Well the yard work can kiss my ass. I sat on the couch and watched Netflix all weekend!

Here's to healed knees and a better week ahead!

-Brittney

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Lilly Pulitzer for Target!

Mark your calendars for April 19!

Lilly Pulitzer has partnered with target and created the most ADORABLE line!


Here are a few of my favorite items:














Let's be real: I love everything! I cant choose just one! I neeeeeeed those pillows for my guest room, and the matching hand towels! And the floor cushions! Swoon! Don't even get me started on the clothes...maybe the birthday bunny will get me those sandals and the matching tote for my birthday? *hint*hint* 

Be sure to follow @LillyForTarget on Instagram for more photos of the collection!

Happy Wednesday!

-Britt

P.S. Target has no idea who I am or that I've written this post...I just thought it was really awesome and I wanted to share it with all my favorite peeps! :-) 


Monday, April 6, 2015

In Review- March

Farewell March! Here's a little recap of what I've been up to!

I cheered on a dear friend at the Mrs. Oklahoma pageant! She made top ten!

Before the pageant, My mother, sister and I went to Oklahoma City and visited Blo. for a blowout. Small world! -the girl that styled my hair was from Ada! Anyway, we spent the appointment gossiping about everyone we know in common. It was great!



Reading:

On living alone -this hit the mark! I live alone and can relate to every last word. If you know me in real life, or know anyone living alone, or if you live alone, or if you're thinking about living alone, or if you used to live alone, or if you have a child who lives alone, or if you're worried about your child living alone (okay, I'll stop now)...just read this.

I followed my stolen iPhone across the world, became a celebrity in China, and found a friend for life.  -this had me laughing out loud. The internet is awesome.


Here's what happened when we weighed women's purses.  -Anyone wanna give me a neck rub? I wasn't aware of how much neck and shoulder pain I was experiencing until I read this. I'm going to weigh my purse tonight and take a picture of it's contents. Follow me on Instagram @orrbrittney for an update!

Watching:

Just finished Gilmore Girls on Netflix and I don't know what to do with myself. I loved that show! How will I survive without my daily dose of witty, fast-paced dialog between Loreli and Rory? The clever wordsmiths, the laugh-out-loud silliness? I'm having some serious withdraws!

...move on to the next binge-worthy show...

Ally McBeal -it's cheesy but pretty cute! I have to cut Ally McBeal a little slack, after all it was made in the 90's. I've only watched the first three episodes but so far so good!

Cooking:

Chili for the chili cook-off. I made this recipe and won first place! I beat 9 other entries -they gave me a trophie and everything!



Easter Dinner. Easter Sunday was spent with my brother & sister. We went to church and spent the day napping. I made an Easter ham with glazed carrots and my favorite green beans on the side.



Pinning:

Inspiring rooms:

...Dreamy ghost chairs...

Pinned here

Lovely blue accents...

Pinned here

Pinned here
Everything about this front porch makes me swoon...

Pinned here

The month ahead:

I'm hosting April book club! Every month we choose a "theme" for our potluck-style dinners. I'm going with an Asian theme. Asian food is my absolute favorite; if we had sushi in Ada I would eat it every day! We don't have many options for oriental dining in my little town...so I decided, what better way to satisfy my cravings than with a group of close friends and a bottle of wine? Yumm-o!

It's time for spring cleaning and for me that always includes a garage sale!



I have this weird love for garage sales. It's sitting outside, early in the morning, with a coffee (or mimosa, depending on the day) my sister in the lawn chair next to me. We laugh about silly things and celebrate every big sale. She's the best cashier, that girl never makes mistakes when counting change! It really is my favorite way to spend a Saturday morning in the spring.


What about you? Any big plans for April?