I saw you crossing the street towards the post office.
You looked so handsome in your black shirt and boots.
You reminded me of Johnny Cash, dark and mysterious.
"I’ve finally found my Marlboro Man!"
I had the urge to roll down my window and whistle at you.
But then I remembered that I’m a lady and ladies don’t catcall.
As I waited for the light to turn green, I tried to think of how to get your attention...
...and then you spit out a loogie and all was ruined.
So, to all the Johnny Cash’s, Marlboro Men, J Crew guys, surfur dudes and Prince Charmings of the world…
Next time you have the urge to spit out a loogie in public, think about the pretty girl who might be admiring your manly physique from afar…
I doubt she thinks spitting is sexy.
But what do I know?
Have a wonderful election day!